D=

I don't know why, but I'm scared.. I'm sorry. I just don't have the guts to contact you dear. I'm so sorry. Maybe I am a coward after all, since I don't have the guts to contact you ever since that little misunderstood happened on Twitter. I want to talk to you, but with your girls around, I don't dare to speak out. I'm sorry for not acting like a man, nor as a responsible boyfriend to you. This is the only way I can actually tell you what am I feeling right now. =(

I'm sorry dear, for not being there for you. You were having problem, I know you were. But, I didn't bother to ask. I knew you were being moody at something, but I didn't bother to call and ask why or to cheer you up. I knew, I didn't text you as much as we used to, but I still didn't bother to text you and ask whether have you topped up your phone credit ever since the day you told me that your credit ran out.

Everyday, I hang out with the guys, joking around and do lots of not-so-nice but funny stuff, praying that it will kill the guilty feeling within the depths of my heart. It did, but not for long. After we depart as we return home, I definitely look at your picture that I kept inside my phone. I miss you so much dear, and I feel very guilty for the things I done for the past 2 weeks.

I'm so sorry dear, for not being with you. Now, I see you at school, seeing you smile at me, waving at me, looking at me, makes me miss you even more. I want to hug you (which I can't do it at school), talk to you, walk you to Kak Sya or Abah after school as they pick you up, or just to stand by your side. But, I didn't have to courage to do it. I don't know why. I just lost my courage to do it. I feel so scared to do that, I fear you might scold me, for ignoring you for the past 2 weeks, for not contacting, for not talking, and so many other more reason.

I don't know why, but I just can't do it.  I'm so sorry dear, but I love you so much. =(